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desire

Are Your Fears Running Your Life? How To Respond Instead Of React

People learn to either respond to or react to fears. When someone reacts to his fears, he generally expects something to go dreadfully wrong, and as a result may lash out at the people around him. The most common reaction to fear is anger. Because this reaction is typical, it is often accepted as being o.k. Anger isn’t inherently bad, but it is important to see it for what it is. Anger is a reaction to fear or hurt.

If someone only focuses on anger, rather than dealing with what is causing an angry reaction, a negative pattern is left unresolved. Only looking at symptoms doesn’t create real and lasting change.

In a routine physical, one of the first things the doctor does is the reflex test. The doctor takes the rubber mallet and gently raps the knee. The leg instinctively kicks out as a reaction to this strike. If the doctor is standing in front he may take a direct kick as a result of this reaction. How the reflexes respond gives the doctor some insight into a person’s overall condition. If something is wrong, the doctor will take the opportunity to see if there is a more serious problem.

When people hold onto a high level of fear, most of their perceptions are illogical; and they find it difficult to find people they can trust. In fact, they find people to be generally untrustworthy; therefore, they continue to attract people into their lives that reinforce this belief. They are on the whole unhappy and feel lonely. In order to be removed from this cycle of reaction:

  • a person must recognize that living in a constant state of fearful neurosis perpetuates loneliness
  • it is vital to realize anger hinders the ability to connect with anything positive. This includes people, places, and joyful experiences
  • there must be a desire to create a more positive outlook

It is possible to develop positive techniques to deal with anger. It begins with a sincere desire to change. When someone decides to make this transition the first steps toward a solution have already been made.

Photo Credit:Svadilfari via: Flickr

Commit to Connection: How to Effectively Build Friendships With Meaning

Do you want your friendships to have more meaning? Do you have a desire to feel supported in reaching your goals? Then make a commitment to connect more effectively.


All things in life are enriched when we are able to share them. There is a tremendous amount of power in the connection made between two people. This power is increased when we are connected to many more people. In order to make these connections, we must be willing to make ourselves vulnerable. We must have a desire to be intimately involved in people’s lives. We must commit to removing whatever obstacles stand in our way.

Most people we meet will have some level of desire to be joyful and loving individuals.

What separates a person with this desire from someone who actually fulfills this desire is the commitment to change. This commitment creates action. Through taking positive action, our lives will change. Experiencing instant results from taking simple actions is extremely rewarding. There is no greater gratification than the feeling that comes from accomplishing a goal. What makes this feeling even sweeter is being able to share it with people who have a genuine concern for our well-being. The more meaningful friendships we are able to create and maintain, the deeper  joy is able to penetrate all levels of our being. Truly happy people seek opportunities to share the gifts they have been given. To be able to share knowledge and information creates a positive impact on large circles of people.

Any strong and meaningful friendship is built on the foundation of fun, genuine concern, and support. Friendships grow through shared experiences. They also enrich life because of the reinforcement ofconnection and commonality. Happiness isn’t determined by the number of friendships a person has, rather by the depth and quality of those relationships. It is dangerous to judge how connected someone is solely by the number of contacts in their database. Without shared goals, beliefs, or experiences there is no relationship. Forget about numbers, focus on connection.

Photo Credit by: by gerrygoal2008 via Flickr