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Posts under ‘letting go’

Stop Resisting Change: What We Can Learn From The Pioneers

You can stop resisting change. Although any transition is scary, the fear doesn’t have to lead to debilitating resistance. Change means a phase of ¬†life is coming to an end. This can apply to a job, a scholastic career or a¬†relationship. In order to step into what is new or possible, it is imperative to […]

Don’t Judge Your Feelings!

It is important to identify the fears stopping you from accomplishing your goals of falling in love with your life and building intimate relationships with others. Having a desire to change is essential to this process. It is also important to be aware of the feelings attached to these detrimental fears. For example, I know […]

Three Simple Steps To Immediately Improve All Of Your Relationships

Parents want their kids to change but many of these same kids think their parents are idiots. Managers demand improved performance from their employees while the employees want their bosses to stop micro-managing. Business owners work tirelessly to build trust as some customers take advantage of the philosophy of “always being right.” Relationships can definitely […]

Me, Scared?

The following post is taken from my upcoming book: Connected: The Art of Building Relationships. Connected is the updated edition of Relationships for the Intimately Challenged. A grandiose ego is a common defense mechanism used to mask fear. When someone is insecure and has a fundamental fear around people, an easy way to keep others […]

The Security and (Sometime) Dysfunction of Family

In any situation involving relationships, we are in pursuit of security. Security is neither positive nor negative. If we are comfortable with conflict, we will be secure in situations that are contentious and chaotic. If we operate well when our surroundings are calm, we will be secure in an environment that is calm and peaceful. […]

Rewrite Your Scripts

Dealing with the past gives us some answers to the question of “why”. To create change, we must recognize the pattern and take action. As a child, our interactions with our families teach us how to relate to other people and establish patterns that appear later in life. If Dad always complains about Mom and […]

Cynics Beware

We have all seen angry, tight-jawed people who live in a constant state of cynicism. They find no joy in life. They are constantly afraid of people trying to take advantage of them. They also happen to be the same people who manipulate and take advantage of others. “What is a cynic? A man who […]

Self Deceived No More

Self-deception is a common theme with people who are controlled by irrational fears. In order for someone to continue to live in a pattern of neurosis, they must be able to justify their fear to themselves and to others. A common characteristic with such people is self-righteousness and anger. “Suppose we were able to share […]