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January, 2009:

The Moment is What Matters

Yesterday was my daughter’s tenth birthday. It was a wonderful day and a true celebration of the wonderful relationships our family has. Ten years is a long time. Many things change and evolve. If you remember to pay attention, your gratitude grows exponentially.

I remember throughout my wife’s pregnancy the wise words many parents shared with me about the importance of staying present mentally and emotionally. The advice they shared was invaluable and has reminded me how quickly time passes if you don’t pay attention. Blink and it’s gone, is a statement we have all heard. Because of this awareness, I decided long ago to be conscious of putting my family first.

Nothing is more important than our connections. We are defined by our relationships. Our relationships reflect our internal condition. The deeper we connect with people the fuller our lives become. Particularly our relationships with our partners and children.

Your kids don’t care about your professional accomplishments and your partner wants to connect with you. Two things your children and your partner have in common is their desire to be close to you and their need to be involved in your life. It is too easy to justify isolation with the word “responsibility.” Work, grow, and accomplish. These are important and admirable things to do. First and foremost pay attention to those who rely on the connection they have with you. Be present and don’t miss any moments. This is where true success, happiness, and accomplishment lives.

Collective Consciousness

This is not a political post. The point of this article is to discuss the power of the collective consciousness and the strength of unity.

Today’s inauguration is another example of the collective consciousness creating a societal change. Whether you agree or disagree with the outcome of November’s election, it is impossible to deny the overwhelming collective desire to shift the consciousness of our country and of the world.

This kind of change is possible in every individual’s life and relationships. First of all, ask yourself some simple questions:


  • Are you frustrated with your current state of affairs( financial, professional, romantic, and/or family relationships)?
  • Do you blame others for this current state?
  • Do you have a desire to feel more connected to people in your life?
  • Do you feel like you are in constant conflict with others?


There are certainly more questions you can ask yourself but this provides a starting point.

282473498_1bb8a2dc3cBe the Change You Desire

Conflict never feels good. Frustration is a state which stymies creativity and free thinking. Only those who take no responsibility for their lives blame others. Those who feel disconnected and alone have lost their sense of self.

  • Make a decision to resolve conflicts in your life by identifying where you have made mistakes
  • Find a definition of success and happiness which reflects your essence rather than attempting to please others
  • Be a strong “I” in order to build connections which will be strong partnerships

Be a winner, stick with winners, and find security in the fact that your life reflects who you truly are. Use today as a reminder to remain diligent in your beliefs, to dream big, and know that anything is possible.

Clear Communication


My mother sent me a survey the other day she needed to complete for a school project. The questions were interesting so I decided to share it to see what kind of responses I get. These kinds of discussions provide a tremendous amount of insight into our perceptions of each other and what we think is important. I hope you enjoy answering these as much as I did. Feel free to invite as many people as you would like to participate. I look forward to your answers!

1.    Why do you think men and women have difficulty communicating with one another?

2.    Where or how do you think the breakdown in communication occurs?

3.    Is this an inborn trait or a learned trait? Please explain your response.

4.    Does this problem exist at all ages? Please explain your response.

5.    Do you think that this inability to clearly communicate will ever be resolved? Please explain.

6.    What would be your solution to solving this problem?

Hopefully the questions don’t sound too much like an assignment. Remember to go with your first response, not what you think others would want you to say. Enjoy!

Realizing What’s Important

An Old CoupleI love anything that changes my perspective. Sometimes that change comes from reading a great story or article. A perspective change can come from a great movie. We can be moved by a conversation with someone whom we respect. Most often this change comes as a result of a strong connection with a person we love.

We often spend so much time making plans that we forget to experience what is happening right now. Our life. No matter what goals we set, regrets we hold on to, or resentments we allow to fester the fact is that the moment in which we truly exist is now. Am I going to use this moment to be afraid of who or what may be coming? Or will I use it to remember what really matters to me? Here are some simple perspective changers:

You Will Die: No matter how much denial we attempt to build, this is inevitable. Once this fact is accepted I am left with a simple choice. Will I fearfully wait for this moment to arrive or will I use this awareness to experience as much of life as possible.

They Don’t Care: Those who you spend your time resenting and trying to hurt forgot about you a long long time ago. I have learned this lesson over and over again. I somehow convince myself that I am that important and that whatever it was that hurt me had an equal impact on the life of whoever caused my pain. The bottom line is that if I hurt, it is because I choose to hold on. I always have the option to let go and move on with my life.

Your Kids Don’t Care How Hard Your Day Was: Nor should they. They love you. They want and deserve your undivided attention. When you leave the office, call, or appointment leave it behind you.

Your Spouse Doesn’t Know How You Feel Unless You Say It: Say I love you because uttering the three most powerful words in our language makes you feel good. Don’t take for granted that your partner just “knows” how you feel. They don’t. Show them and tell them.

Perspective is a choice. Although difficult and painful experiences provide perspective change there are other ways. We all have our idea of what a loving and caring person would look like. The most effective way to change one’s perspective is to be that person.

Specifically Speaking

On a previous post I wrote that there is a ton of information available to people on ways to make positive change. I want to share a few links to people who have helped me immensely and share a couple of book titles.Jack Canfield

Jack Canfield: When I watched The Secret, Jack  stood out to me as someone with whom I could relate and understand. After attending two of his seminars last year that feeling was validated. His approach is very logical and he clearly cares about people with whom he works.

Hale Dwoskin: Hale is the facilitator of The Sedona Method, a tool to assist people in letting go of limiting beliefs and negative thinking. Hale is a gentle man whose smile is infectious. Hale Dwoskin

Jim Bunch: I met Jim in November. He is a wonderful speaker. Jim is very engaging and his message is practical and useful.

I read a lot of books in 2008. For self-improvement  I would recommend The Success Principles by Jack Canfield, Happy for No Reason by Marci Shimoff, and The Power of Your Sub-Conscious Mind by Joseph Murphy. These are just a few but all have helped me immensely. 

I will continue to share what is working for me along with what isn’t working. I will commit to being more specific. It is my honor and pleasure to have the opportunity to connect with you and continue to find ways to improve our lives. Thank you.