Most relationships that go sour are usually sabotaged by poor communication. Whether it is due to someone’s inability (or unwillingness) to be openly expressive or a misinterpretation of emotions, with better tools we can not only salvage certain relationships but enhance all of them. In my book, Relationships for the Intimately Challenged, I provide an overview of how people’s faulty belief systems and scripting lead to the repetition of useless and negative habits. I also point out the value of having a personal definition of success and happiness based on your individual experiences and beliefs rather than on scripts or other limiting codes of behavior.
In the series of workshops that I am facilitating right now, I provide some insight into ten techniques that I believe can help resolve most conflicts that come up in any relationship.
· Pause before speaking
· Listen to the other person…….no, seriously listen to the other person
· Avoid accusatory statements based on assumptions
· Avoid ”should” statements
· Discuss rules/guidelines rather than impose rules/guidelines
· Communicate concerns rather than attempt to arbitrarily control behavior
· Understand the other person’s perspective (kind of an extension of #2)
· Be willing to walk away to allow emotions to calm
· NEVER speak out of anger
· Own your behavior first
If you are experiencing conflict in any of your relationships, try one or more of these techniques. If you are willing to take action and make the necessary changes in your life you can find the joy you seek in any significant relationship. Never limit yourself with beliefs that no longer serve you.