August, 2009:

Inspiration

Aug 26th, 2009
by Clint Stonebraker.
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Beautiful sky

Inspiration comes in many forms. It may come from a beautiful sunset, a certain smell, or a piece of music. It is difficult to predict when or how a revelation will arrive, but you know it will.

Most ingenuity is created by partnership. Great ideas are rarely created in a vacuum. Are you taking advantage of the genius you are surrounded by? Do you realize the people in your life possess all of the information you will ever need to be an absolute success?

Zen gardenRemember that you have created relationships with people who support your success. They want you to achieve your dreams. If they don’t know exactly how to advise you, they will point you in the direction to go so you can find the information you need. Does this sound like your relationships? If not, change who you surround yourself with.

Keep it very simple.

  • Determine whether you are honest about the direction that you want your life to go in. If you feel resistance it is probably due to you withholding information about what you are seeking.
  • Listen to your muse and share what you learn in detail with people you trust
  • Tap into the love that surrounds you. Your relationships provide the strength you need to continue to move forward.

Inspiration is energy. It is not accidental when it comes to you. Learn to trust and focus it. You will enjoy life much more!

You Can Change the World

Aug 18th, 2009
by Clint Stonebraker.
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img_0273Saturday night I had the pleasure of attending a Paul McCartney concert at Piedmont Park in Atlanta, Georgia. It was an amazing experience, one of the more exceptional events I have ever attended. It was the combination of the scence, the number of people, the fact I was there with my family ( our mutual love of  The Beatles was part of what brought my wife and I together), and the music. However, my wife pointed out something of major significance.

Does this man, Paul McCartney, realize what an impact his life has made on the world? Really think about how inter-woven his music, and his life, are with four generations. Coming to a realization such as this puts some things in perspective.

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  • It is possible to create a movement by doing something you love. In fact, the only way to create real change is to inspire through your actions.
  • Those who make a real cultural impact don’t have to tell everyone they have made a cultural impact. With all due respect to the megalomaniacs of the world, those whose deeds reverberate through time are humbled by the experience. I was amazed at the amount of joy Sir Paul experienced by playing his music.
  • If you create, you will stir the dormant spirits of those around you. Like Paul, find your passion and commit to living through it every day. This life is your opportunity to experience joy, happiness, passion, and connection as the person you are. Surround yourself with people who move and support you. Be the galvanizing force that rouses your loved ones.

Relationships are strengthened by enthusiasm and love. Don’t settle for the status quo. Take risks and stay focused on the life you want to live. Find your inner Paul (or whoever inspires you) and act! You too will change the world.

The Security and (Sometime) Dysfunction of Family

Aug 12th, 2009
by Clint Stonebraker.
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184665954_6e032f5ac8In any situation involving relationships, we are in pursuit of security. Security is neither positive nor negative. If we are comfortable with conflict, we will be secure in situations that are contentious and chaotic. If we operate well when our surroundings are calm, we will be secure in an environment that is calm and peaceful.
An outside observer may see someone in a violent situation and not understand why the person doesn’t simply leave. However, the person in the violent situation is familiar with these surroundings and has learned to adapt to them. As a result of this adaptation, he survives in this environment while any other situation is unfathomable and unrealistic. He simply accepts the fact his life is violent. By his own definition, he may seek out relationships where he will find conflict. Unless he directly confronts this belief system, he will continue to find security in violence.
The good news is he can shift his security. It is entirely possible for him to realize he doesn’t have to accept the violence as his reality. If he experiences enough discomfort, or sees a more attractive lifestyle, he can find the motivation to change his belief systems and his life.
In the media, we hear stories about people who have gone down a path of crime and self-destruction. We describe them as “victims of their environment”.

Although it is undeniable many people in our society are born with some severe disadvantages, to describe them as victims would not be completely accurate.

Your family background plays a major role in these scenarios. Your earliest definitions about life are formed at home. For some, these definitions are very positive. These individuals learn and understand the positive expressions of love, which form a solid foundation for them to build on for the rest of their lives. Their ability to make decisions from a stable and secure mind-set is evident. However, for many others, there are usually some flawed perceptions that develop from dysfunctional family situations.

•    The word family connotes relationships to which we are indelibly bound.
•    Being related provides the opportunity to have a strong connection but doesn’t guarantee this connection.
•    A dysfunctional family is one in which abuse, neglect, closed- mindedness, and absence of affection are characteristics which create the atmosphere at home.
Here are some simple things you can do to determine how your definition of family affects your life today:

1.    Write a brief (two or three sentences) description of an ideal family. Focus on the emotional characteristics.
2.    Compare this description to the environment in which you grew up; again focus on the emotional characteristics.
3.    Write down three positive characteristics you developed as a result of growing up in this environment.
4.    Write down three negative characteristics you have used to justify any negative patterns in your life.

You were not in control of the environment you were born into. However, you do possess the ability to alter the direction of your life today. Your awareness is a major key to taking control of the direction of your happiness. Although you may have been victimized in the past, you don’t have to remain in that state today.

Connections are Reflections

Aug 4th, 2009
by Clint Stonebraker.
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I realize today that my security is internal. It comes as a result of living a life that is based on success and happiness as I define it. My definitions of success and happiness are centered around love, peace of mind, and a strong sense of connection to others. My relationships both reflect and reinforce that fact.

The more we are able to recognize our patterns of fear and negativity,
the more we can create positive and loving relationships in our lives.3033176540_da53b54fc9

Fear and negativity are fed by false and negative beliefs about the motives of other people. As a result of these limiting and fearful beliefs, many people use flawed definitions of relationships, such as “Relationships are hard work” and “Relationships are 50/50,” to justify isolation and loneliness. If we see other people as enemies who are trying to take advantage of us, then it will be very difficult to feel a true sense of connection and closeness. When we are able to truly take responsibility for our decisions and actions, we can form definitions of relationships that are rooted in love and enhancement.
Relationships can certainly be complicated. When people come together at any level, there are belief systems, preferences, and motives to be acknowledged. This process does not have to be painful. Although it can be scary, and sometimes frustrating, building positive healthy relationships is one of the key factors in a joyous life experience. The biggest challenge is deciding whether you have the willingness to take responsibility for your behavior.

•    How we live and perceive life is a choice.
•    A close relationship consists of each individual’s 100% commitment to its success.
•    Flexibility is essential in building strong relationships.
•    The only actions I can truly control are my own.
•    Building relationships can be complicated. In order to build strong relationships I must take responsibility for my own actions.

Here are some simple steps to assist you in this area:

  • Answer this question, “Am I cynical about other people’s motives in wanting to get to know me?”  Write down the ways you notice your reaction to meeting someone new.
  • Name five rigid beliefs you have that stop you from forming relationships with people. (Example: I would never talk to him because he is ________)
  • Write down a few examples of how you expect other people to meet you half-way. Are these realistic expectations?
  • If people don’t live up to these expectations, do you sabotage the relationship?

You can disengage from negativity at whatever point you choose. Your relationships will reflect how you define happiness. Don’t expect other people to spend their time and energy pleasing you. Let go of your expectations and live free!