I realize today that my security is internal. It comes as a result of living a life that is based on success and happiness as I define it. My definitions of success and happiness are centered around love, peace of mind, and a strong sense of connection to others. My relationships both reflect and reinforce that fact.
The more we are able to recognize our patterns of fear and negativity,
the more we can create positive and loving relationships in our lives.
Fear and negativity are fed by false and negative beliefs about the motives of other people. As a result of these limiting and fearful beliefs, many people use flawed definitions of relationships, such as “Relationships are hard work” and “Relationships are 50/50,” to justify isolation and loneliness. If we see other people as enemies who are trying to take advantage of us, then it will be very difficult to feel a true sense of connection and closeness. When we are able to truly take responsibility for our decisions and actions, we can form definitions of relationships that are rooted in love and enhancement.
Relationships can certainly be complicated. When people come together at any level, there are belief systems, preferences, and motives to be acknowledged. This process does not have to be painful. Although it can be scary, and sometimes frustrating, building positive healthy relationships is one of the key factors in a joyous life experience. The biggest challenge is deciding whether you have the willingness to take responsibility for your behavior.
• How we live and perceive life is a choice.
• A close relationship consists of each individual’s 100% commitment to its success.
• Flexibility is essential in building strong relationships.
• The only actions I can truly control are my own.
• Building relationships can be complicated. In order to build strong relationships I must take responsibility for my own actions.
Here are some simple steps to assist you in this area:
- Answer this question, “Am I cynical about other people’s motives in wanting to get to know me?” Write down the ways you notice your reaction to meeting someone new.
- Name five rigid beliefs you have that stop you from forming relationships with people. (Example: I would never talk to him because he is ________)
- Write down a few examples of how you expect other people to meet you half-way. Are these realistic expectations?
- If people don’t live up to these expectations, do you sabotage the relationship?
You can disengage from negativity at whatever point you choose. Your relationships will reflect how you define happiness. Don’t expect other people to spend their time and energy pleasing you. Let go of your expectations and live free!