April, 2010:

Commit to Connection: How to Effectively Build Friendships With Meaning

Apr 28th, 2010
by Clint Stonebraker.
No comments yet

Do you want your friendships to have more meaning? Do you have a desire to feel supported in reaching your goals? Then make a commitment to connect more effectively.


All things in life are enriched when we are able to share them. There is a tremendous amount of power in the connection made between two people. This power is increased when we are connected to many more people. In order to make these connections, we must be willing to make ourselves vulnerable. We must have a desire to be intimately involved in people’s lives. We must commit to removing whatever obstacles stand in our way.

Most people we meet will have some level of desire to be joyful and loving individuals.

What separates a person with this desire from someone who actually fulfills this desire is the commitment to change. This commitment creates action. Through taking positive action, our lives will change. Experiencing instant results from taking simple actions is extremely rewarding. There is no greater gratification than the feeling that comes from accomplishing a goal. What makes this feeling even sweeter is being able to share it with people who have a genuine concern for our well-being. The more meaningful friendships we are able to create and maintain, the deeper  joy is able to penetrate all levels of our being. Truly happy people seek opportunities to share the gifts they have been given. To be able to share knowledge and information creates a positive impact on large circles of people.

Any strong and meaningful friendship is built on the foundation of fun, genuine concern, and support. Friendships grow through shared experiences. They also enrich life because of the reinforcement ofconnection and commonality. Happiness isn’t determined by the number of friendships a person has, rather by the depth and quality of those relationships. It is dangerous to judge how connected someone is solely by the number of contacts in their database. Without shared goals, beliefs, or experiences there is no relationship. Forget about numbers, focus on connection.

Photo Credit by: by gerrygoal2008 via Flickr

Ready For A Romantic Relationship You Deserve?

Apr 21st, 2010
by Clint Stonebraker.
No comments yet

Ready for romantic relationship you deserve? It is critical to have open discussions to find a healthy definition of a working relationship.



Romantic relationships can be subjects that are terrifying to talk about. However, it is critical to have open and honest discussions about this subject in order to find a healthy definition of a relationship that works. People often repeat destructive romance patterns due to an unwillingness to examine the limiting beliefs and faulty scripts that dictate romantic attraction and desire.Unfortunately, negative patterns can create a false sense of security. With a strong commitment to improve, it is possible to change these patterns permanently.

Ideally,  partnerships are formed by the combination of physical attraction, emotional compatibility, and spiritual connection.

Romantic relationships involve a tremendous amount of personal responsibility. There is no other type of relationship that requires a higher degree of intimacy. When people enter a romantic relationship without an awareness of the responsibility involved, people get unnecessarily hurt.  If people commit themselves to improving their lives and their relationships, their attitude toward romance will change for the better.

“Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but always perfect for you.”

~ Author Unknown

The key to any healthy romantic relationship is the willingness to take responsibility for all decisions, actions, and responses.

By answering a couple of simple questions, a degree of clarity can be achieved.

1. What qualities would the ideal relationship possess? (This can include physical, emotional and spiritual qualities)

2. How important is it to be a secure individual before entering a romantic relationship?

3. How does a healthy relationship enhance a person’s life?

Although emotions are at the center of a romantic relationship, they can cloud judgment.  It is critical to have a clear perspective on a healthy romance before being intimately involved with anyone. In the spirit of spring cleaning relationships, take inventory of how an intimate relationship is defined.

Once this definition is established one can remove the clutter of limiting beliefs and attract a perefect relationship defined by success and happiness. This is the kind of a romantic relationship everyone deserves.

Photo Credit:fujisan3 (Mr.mt) via Flickr

Spring Clean Your Relationships: Simple Tools With Immediate Results

Apr 15th, 2010
by Clint Stonebraker.
1 comment

Today begins “Spring Cleaning Your Relationships” month.Between now and Mother’s Day, I will be sharing some simple tips and tools based on spring cleaning basics to repair or enhance any relationship. These tips and tools will be here, on my Facebook page, my Twitter posts, my You Tube channel, and my Weekly Perspectives on clintstonebraker.com. I would love for all of you to participate, so please make comments, ask questions, or just read along.I will also be making several appearances around Atlanta beginning on April 21st at The Coffee Pot in Alpharetta, Georgia. You can view my current schedule at clintstonebraker.com.

The Premise

Basic spring cleaning techniques involve removing clutter, organizing, scrubbing and polishing. We all know, getting started is the hardest part, yet in the end, we usually feel a whole lot better about our environment and ourselves. It is possible to apply these same simple methods to improve our relationships. Any spouse, romantic partner, friend, family member, boss or employee can immediately improve the quality of their relationships by following these four spring-cleaning basics:

  • remove the clutter (identify limiting beliefs)
  • organize (acknowledge and prioritize your needs)
  • scrub what’s dirty (take responsibility for one’s own behavior)
  • polish everything (pay close attention to everyday interactions)

How It Will Work

My posts over the next month will have a little different focus each week.

  • Week 1 (next week) will focus on romance and marriage
  • Week 2 will focus on  friendship
  • Week 3 will focus on business/work relationships
  • Week 4 will focus on family relationships

Check in often and participate. I look forward to hearing from all of you as we strengthen our connecting skills and Spring Clean Our Relationships!

Be Like The South African Waiter: Remember The Value Of Service

Apr 13th, 2010
by Clint Stonebraker.
No comments yet

I love dining on cruise ships. It is one of the best aspects of a cruise. One particular dining experience stands out to me from a cruise my family took on Royal Caribbean Liberty. This experience stands out as much for the transformation I saw the staff go through as for the actual dining itself.

In our dining room we had a headwaiter, a waiter, and a waiter’s assistant, none of whom spoke English as a first language. The headwaiter was from South Africa, the waiter from Chile, and the assistant from Peru. Some of the conversations were very interesting; especially once you throw in my “hearing challenged” father-in-law.

The Issue

My family had trouble with the assistant waiter, whose primary responsibilities consisted of serving drinks and bread. He was very slow and sometimes would act as if he heard our requests but didn’t follow through. It seemed like some things were getting lost in translation. We weren’t sure if he didn’t care or if he really didn’t understand what we were saying. Regardless, this situation became very frustrating.

The Solution

The second night our South African headwaiter asked if the service was good. She was sincerely asking too, it wasn’t the pat “I have to ask this so I’m going to” kind of question, she really wanted to know. We let her know the problems we were having. She explained to us that the assistant was new and the staff sometimes had trouble communicating with the Peruvian employees, a lot gets lost in translation. She wasn’t overly apologetic; she simply expressed her gratitude for our feedback and said it would be taken care of. From that point on, we had fantastic service. The service was already out of this world, but this simple conversation made it even better. The assistant waiter never appeared surly or angry, we never would have known if anybody had spoken with him about our complaint.

The Valuable Lesson

“Be Like a South African Waiter,” means to always have an attitude of service. Always have the mindset of “How can I help.” As common a principle as this is, it is far too often overlooked or taken for granted.   Our South African waiter was of service to us, the customers, and the assistant waiter, her employee. She wasn’t simply sucking up to my family with a false “the customer is always right” kind of attitude. She sincerely wanted to help everyone involved. As a result of her attitude, everyone was helped.

Maintaining a sincere attitude of service is valuable in all relationships. One of the quickest and most effective ways to improve self-perception is to find ways to help others. Make it a point to find a way to be of service to someone every day. It isn’t a difficult or daunting task. Some examples include:

  • putting away your grocery cart
  • emptying the dishwasher
  • offering to help clean after a party, meeting, or gathering

The more you can be like a South African waiter, the better you will feel about yourself. As a result your relationships will improve, even those that are already good.

Get the Patch or Take the Pill: Simple Tools to Enhance Relationships

Apr 5th, 2010
by Clint Stonebraker.
No comments yet

One great feature of any cruise is that there are several excursions available at  different ports of call.  In St. Maarten, Royal Caribbean offers one called Snuba. “Snuba” is basically diving that doesn’t require certification. A tank sits on a raft and there are several tubes coming out attached to breathing regulators. Each person gets a regulator and can dive up to 20 feet.

On the day my family decided to “snuba”, the sea was a little rough. My wife, Wendy,  has a tendency to get seasick and she had mentioned that fact several times. But she was ill-prepared. There are several methods to avoid sea-sickness but Wendy chose to ignore them all. As we rode out to the snorkel and snuba spot, the little boat started rocking. I watched as Wendy’s complexion changed from normal, to Casper the Friendly Ghostish, to a not so flattering Incredible Hulk green. There were others who were a bit worse, but Wendy had it pretty bad.

The point is that in any relationship there is always a solution. There is always something that can be done to insure everyone’s best interests are met. This can be as challenging as sitting down for hours to hash out an agreement; sometimes it is as simple as agreeing with the person sitting across from you. If people are willing to be patient and take the time to communicate and work together, a solution will be found. Even if the end result is the relationship coming to an end, with preparation and communication the solution settled upon will be best for all concerned.

For example, those who are doing well in the current economic climate are people who get themselves out of the worrisome, scarcity driven mind set and ask for help. People who seek solutions rather than wait for disaster to strike before taking action. The businesses in which people take the pill or put the patches behind their ear are experiencing more success because they are prepared and take preventative measures. Individuals who are motivated by moving forward and creating relationships based in love and positivity find people who support their success. They are driven by solutions more than they are driven by fear.

Keep yourself prepared, that’s what “Get the Patch or Take the Pill” means. Just like Wendy could have easily avoided becoming sea sick, any person or business can steer clear of unnecessary conflict by taking simple measures:

  • Be clear about your definition of success and happiness
  • Make it a priority to surround yourself with people who support you and provide you with accountability
  • Evaluate your relationships regularly

Creating happy and joyful partnerships isn’t always as daunting a process as it seems. Most of the time it simply takes clarity,commitment, and flexibility. When situations are more complex, having a positive attitude can make the difference in how quickly a resolution is found. Your mind-set is something over which you always have control.