August 25th, 2010:

Are Relationships Hard? How To Remove Negativity From Responsibility

A fundamental belief is that relationships are “hard work” and involve “sacrifice and compromise.” While building connections on any level can be a challenge , these negative attitudes are prevalent in today’s society because many people struggle to take responsibility for their own situations. It has become increasingly more common for people to blame someone or something else for their plight in life.

Forming unions is harder when someone is unwilling to accept that his decisions, words, and actions have a ripple effect. All relationships involve two people coming together, therefore flexibility is critical. This doesn’t necessarily mean that there must be “hard work” in order for a relationship to be successful. If a bond is extremely difficult to maintain, it is possible it shouldn’t exist. Before making that determination, however, it is imperative to make an honest self-appraisal.

  • Taking responsibility for actions and words is key.
  • Relationships are always a reflection of a person’s current state of mind.
  • When someone feels conflict with another person, the first responsibility is to look within himself to determine whether he has somehow wronged the other person.
  • If he discovers that his actions have been clean, he can find comfort in the awareness that his behavior or attitude is not at the root of this conflict.

Continuing to attempt to engage another person in conversations about conflicts may perpetuate the problem. At that point it can be helpful to take a step back and allow the other person the freedom to work out whatever issues they may have.Most people want to be liked; so this can be challenging. The other person may not respond positively and the disagreement may not be solved. A few points that may be helpful include:

  • The only actions anyone can truly control are his own.
  • Building relationships can be complicated.
  • In order to build strong relationships one must take responsibility for his own actions.

With this perspective and responsibility the building and maintaining of relationships is more a challenge than a chore. Removing the fear makes the entire experience much more rewarding.