October 13th, 2010:

Intimacy In Relationships: Is It A Challenge Or A Chore?

How do you view establishing intimacy in relationships? Do you view it as a way to challenge yourself and stretch your emotional muscles? Or do you view it as a daunting chore which will never be accomplished?Depending on where you stand with this issue says a lot about the level of closeness in your relationships. Intimacy can be an easily misunderstood and scary topic to discuss but it is a critical ingredient in a complete life.

Intimacy In Context

Intimacy is defined as close familiarity or friendship. It is established by being engaged and connected with others. This engagement allows vulnerability for both involved parties.  Most people would agree that the establishment of a deep level of closeness enhances the quality of life. Any successful relationship involves a degree of intimacy. This applies to personal, professional, and romantic relationships.

Rising To The Challenge

When a fear of intimacy is identified the task then becomes determining how to transcend the aversion in order to establish bonds. Usually this fear is rooted in the belief that others aren’t trustworthy and will inevitably cause pain. This can be overcome by realizing that each relationship is unique and shouldn’t be based on situations from the past.

Face The Fear With Fun

Establishing intimacy does involve emotional risk. For many, the risk involved strikes terror. As with anything else, an attitude of fun and enthusiasm allows some of the fear to subside. Some examples of facing these fears with an attitude of fun include:

  • spending time with people doing things you both enjoy
  • laugh with people….. a lot
  • approach people who seem to be relaxed and approachable

Getting close to people doesn’t have to feel like work. It is difficult for most people.  With a change in attitude, establishing intimacy in relationships can become a challenge worth accomplishing. How can you change your perspective in this area?