Change/Transition

How Do You React To Your Emotions? How To Change Repeated Actions

Sep 22nd, 2010
by Clint Stonebraker.
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Most of the time the ways people react to emotions follow a pattern.These patterns create habits. For example, when someone reacts to hurt or fear by becoming angry, the anger becomes habitual. The repeated actions form the custom. In order for real change to take place, the emotions behind a reaction have to be resolved.Change often starts with movement. Eventually the heart and mind, or the thinking, emotions,and deeds, must agree for a pattern to be permanently altered.

Do Your Emotions Run The Show?

It is common to react to difficult situations by becoming emotional. However, we lose personal power when emotions are in control of what we say and do. When we are able to take a step back, allow emotions to calm, and apply logic, we are less likely to say or do something we will later regret. Thinking before speaking is a challenge for most. No one is perfect in this endeavor. However, it is an area in which we can all progress.

You Choose How The Past Serves You

As years pass we gain wisdom through experience. Many of these events can be scary. It is easy to focus on how difficult certain situations were but the knowledge accrued enables better navigation through life’s events. When we choose to wallow in self-pity, the opportunity to share experiences that may benefit others is lost. How we deal with challenges is a matter of choice and perspective. We all have the power to

change our words, actions, thoughts, and feelings. If you are taking responsibility for your life and your happiness, you will use whatever steps are necessary to change your thoughts, words, and actions. This means finding a personal definition of success and happiness. The person who’s no longer reacting is moving toward something.  What is it that you’re moving toward?  What is it that you’re after?

How To Navigate Through Times of Transition and Reorientation

Sep 15th, 2010
by Clint Stonebraker.
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The world is in a major time of transition. Many have trouble in figuring out how to navigate these phases. How disruptive it will be for you is determined by two things: the inherent importance of the change that triggers those disruptive times of reorientation; and whether these changes coincide with a developmental shift happening within you. If major changes happen around you at the same time there’s a developmental shift happening within you, any reorientation will be disruptive. If your inner change coincides with the reorientation outside of you, you will find it will be disruptive for the better.

Relationships are always structured by unspoken agreements, although people are seldom conscious of it.  For example, an unspoken agreement between a new employee and a more experienced employer is that the employer will communicate clearly with the new employee and counsel, coach and guide him through how to do his job well and progress in his career. Even though this is sometimes a spoken agreement, it is certainly assumed. When the employer doesn’t live up to this unspoken (or spoken) agreement all involved parties suffer. The company is less productive, the employer is angry due to unmet expectations and the new employee remains in a state of insecurity.

Although times of transition can feel insecure for individual and groups, it is a great time to reassess priorities. Take the time to ask yourself what is important to you and why. It may be helpful to write down your answers. This helps to see whether your life and relationships reflect your priorities. When applying this to an organization, write down whether the service your organization provides is reflecting its mission.

Once you have an accurate assessment it is possible to develop a simple plan of action. Once you begin taking action, you begin to change internally with the reorientation going on around you. When you change with the times, you create a more harmonious world both in and out. Best of all, it’s a much better ride!

Respond To Transitions: How To Adapt To Life’s Changes

Sep 8th, 2010
by Clint Stonebraker.
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How do you respond to transitions? Because you are in a constant state of renewal, it is important to be aware of how well you adapt.  In his book, Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, William Bridges points out that transitions are comprised of an ending, a period of confusion and distress and a new beginning.

Everyone at some time in their life finds endings to be difficult. If you struggle with change, don’t worry. It is not a sign that you have some unusual problem that others don’t. There are many inspirational sayings designed to clarify that change, though necessary and survivable, is something we all struggle with. Transitions are uncomfortable, especially when they start with an ending.  The truth is, if you’re moving toward something new, you’re letting go of something else. The act of letting go, especially if a change is forced upon you, can be a difficult process.

Think about the child who deals with the divorce of his or her parents. It is a change that’s been forced upon him. Not only has the life he knows ended, he has zero power or control over that ending. The entire course of his life has been altered permanently and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Even if we haven’t been the child of divorce, we can all relate to the emotions involved in this kind of change. The feelings of powerlessness, anger, fear and hopelessness affect everyone at some point. These are common emotions that come with transitions created by outside circumstances.

The more adept you become at seeing the opportunities that change brings, the more positive those transitions of letting go will be. The more you are able to accept that moving toward something will end something else, the more welcoming you are of upcoming changes in your life.

Stop Resisting Change: What We Can Learn From The Pioneers

Jun 16th, 2010
by Clint Stonebraker.
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You can stop resisting change. Although any transition is scary, the fear doesn’t have to lead to debilitating resistance. Change means a phase of  life is coming to an end. This can apply to a job, a scholastic career or a relationship. In order to step into what is new or possible, it is imperative to recognize what needs to be released  in order to continue progressing in life.

Lessons Of The Oregon Trail

For 25 years, between 1841 and 1866, people uprooted themselves and their entire lives to head west. Estimates range between 250,000 to 650,000 people, who made the trip along the Oregon Trail.  They were looking for new opportunities they heard about through the grapevine. People had heard stories about the successes others had experienced from Oregon to California, Utah to Colorado and Montana to Washington. They were inspired to take the same journey, hoping for better lives.

What they might not have taken into consideration was how difficult the journey would be or what they would have to let go of in order to get there. Many wanted to bring their entire lives along with them. They brought all the precious items that would remind them of the people and places they left behind – grandfather clocks, pianos, books, china and more. Along the journey, as they realized how weighted down they were with material things, the trail became littered with any items not considered crucial to survival.

In order to get over the mountains, these pioneers realized there was a lot they needed to let go of. They had to release what was comfortable and familiar to be successful in completing their journey. After all, when creating a new world and adapting to a new reality, that’s what it takes.

Let Go Of Old Belief Systems

When we are going through any transition, large or small, pay particular attention to what is difficult to let go of. Notice the thoughts that come to the surface. Just like the pioneers had to let go of pianos, grandfather clocks and pot belly stoves to make it through the mountains, we must let go of our old belief systems and modes of operation which are no longer effective.

Sometimes, we must close old doors to allow new doors to open in our lives.