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Connect

Apr 22nd, 2009
by Clint Stonebraker.
3 comments

2855271953_e32f64d1b7Connection is vital to a fulfilling and joyful life. We connect with people, spirit, and purpose. When we don’t feel a sense of connection, we feel adrift and without direction. It is so easy to get caught in the trap of trying to please others while neglecting our own sense of self. Re- establishing a sense of connection is not difficult. It may be uncomfortable, or sometimes painful, but not difficult.  The two most important factors are to keep things simple and to be honest with yourself. Here are some exercises which can help simplify this process:

  • Make a list of your most common activities, such as work, school, hobbies, etc. Next to each of these activities write down why you do them. This is just for you (unless you want to share it), so be honest.
  • Make a list of what you would love to do (if there were no limitations)
  • Write down the names of the significant relationships in your life and determine if these relationships support your purpose (if not, dig a little deeper to determine if this lack of support is due to your lack of communication)

The idea with these exercises is to provide you with some insight into your definition of happiness. When you have a clearer definition of happiness, it is easier to figure out how to connect with your purpose. It is also easier to connect your purpose with spirit and to connect with people who nurture your purpose.

Everyone is important. Your presence in the world is vital to someone, probably more people than you could possibly be aware. Take the time to let go of any limitations you place on yourself and any walls you put between yourself and others. Take the time to connect.

Photo Credit: alles-schlumpf via Flickr

Thoughts on Humility

Feb 6th, 2009
by Clint Stonebraker.
No comments yet

2325686115_9baa8eafd4Photo credit:Toni VC via Flickr

This will involve a paradigm shift for most people. This idea is certainly a shift for me. I, like most people I know, have always been aware of the importance of humility. Although humility is sometimes difficult to achieve or maintain, it is critical to peaceful living. Unfortunately most people believe in order to be humble we must put ourselves down. The idea behind this concept is to deflate the ego.

I agree that too much pride can be extremely destructive. I have certainly made many mistakes as a result of holding on to too much of it. However, to believe humiliation is the key to humility is an unfortunate mistake. Many are taught to be hard on themselves and gentle to others. I understand the idea behind this philosophy, but I completely disagree.

Kindness creates kindness. When I attempt to practice humility through self -deprecation, being kind to others becomes an act of desperation. This desperation is due to the need for any positive interaction. The problem is the humility seems false and the other person feels used. It may not be obvious but this has a tremendously negative effect on all relationships.

Seeing your own positive characteristics does not make you vain. What makes someone vain, or inappropriately prideful, is when the actions do not match the internal beliefs. In other words, if I am attempting to convince the world of what a good person I am but internally I am constantly judging others, I will come across as arrogant and prideful.

Listening to the positive feedback you receive from people will strengthen your character. Many believe that “reading your own press clippings” will create inevitable self-destruction.” It is important to hear positive feedback. The problem occurs when someone feels they have earned praise dishonestly or through means of manipulation. There are many simple ways to achieve and maintain humility. Here are a few:

  • Be honest in all situations
  • Be genuinely you
  • Seek feedback as often as possible
  • Respond to the feedback you receive, positive or negative
  • Be vulnerable so you connect with others 

All of these steps are simple and can be practiced daily. Do your best to be exactly who you are today. When this is the case, humility comes naturally.

.477956183_2f43df7e0dPhoto credit:Jaimie Sun via Flickr