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flexibility

You Are Responsible

Jan 18th, 2010
by Clint Stonebraker.
1 comment

The more you are able to recognize your patterns of fear and negativity, the more you can create positive and loving relationships in your life.

Fear and negativity are fed by false and negative beliefs about the motives of other people. As a result of these limiting and fearful beliefs, many people use flawed definitions of relationships, such as “Relationships are hard work” and “Relationships are 50/50,” to justify isolation and loneliness. If you see other people as enemies who are trying to take advantage of you, then it will be very difficult to feel a true sense of connection and closeness. When you are able to truly take responsibility for your decisions and actions, you can form definitions of relationships that are rooted in love and enhancement.

Grow Without Pain

Relationships can certainly be complicated. When people come together at any level, there are belief systems, preferences, and motives to be acknowledged. This process does not have to be painful. Although it can be scary, and sometimes frustrating, building positive healthy relationships is one of the key factors in a joyous life experience. The biggest challenge is deciding whether you have the willingness to take responsibility for your behavior.

• How you live and perceive life is a choice.

• A close relationship consists of each individual’s 100% commitment to its success.

• Flexibility is essential in building strong relationships.

• The only actions you can truly control are your own.

• Building relationships can be complicated. In order to build strong relationships you must take responsibility for your own actions.

Emotional Yoga

Jun 19th, 2009
by Clint Stonebraker.
No comments yet

“The boldness of asking deep questions may require unforeseen flexibility if we are to accept the answers.” ~ Brian Greene

One of the primary purposes of yoga is to create flexibility and strength in the body. The same exercise is needed for our emotional well-being. Our emotional well-being is the primary key in building strong, healthy relationships. When we live in any degree of fear, we become defensive and rigid. We hold on to antiquated belief systems because they are familiar and safe. We follow our scripting because the direction is obvious and seems to be a low risk proposition.

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We always have the option to change our perspective. We also always have the option to broaden our horizons and expand our exposure to different ideas. When we are able to do this, we break the cycle of rigidity. By breaking this cycle we exercise our emotional muscles. The stronger and more flexible our emotional muscles become, the more we expand our ability to be open to intimacy. We no longer have to remain stuck in our patterns and we can allow our capacity of love to grow without any self-imposed limitations. I know that my ability to welcome new relationships is contingent upon my ability to be flexible. I also know that if I don’t want my current relationships to stagnate, I must continue to be willing to grow and change.

•    The two greatest motivators are love and fear
•    The willingness to risk a relationship due to different opinions is rooted in irrational fear
•    Love creates more love
•    If life seems difficult, it is due to your resistance to change

Be willing to stretch. This discomfort will lead to unexpected opportunities for unimaginable growth. The connections you will make as a result of your pliancy will be a reminder of the value of unity.

Drop the Agenda, Grumpy Guy

Sep 27th, 2008
by Clint Stonebraker.
3 comments

Disneyworld bills itself as “the happiest place on earth.” For many of us who visit Disneyworld, that statement rings true. The sounds of laughter, the scent of funnel cake and popcorn, and the excited expressions on children’s faces combine to create a magical atmosphere. Why is it that some people can’t help but to sabotage what may be the most rewarding time of their family’s life?

Some people are so self-centered that their agenda takes precedence over fun and relaxation. I agree that having a plan is important. It can provide a road map with which to organize activities for everyone to enjoy. However if the person making the plan lacks flexibility it is a recipe for disaster.

Think about the tight-jawed, red faced man wearing the obligatory Grumpy t-shirt with his concerned looking wife and silent children following close behind.  His intense gait lets you know that he is on a mission. Although the tightly gripped map in his right hand is crumpled and wet, it is still legible. No time to look through the Mickey Mouse gift shop, he has Fast Passes for the new ride and by God he won’t miss his time. He’s the guy that will periodically TELL his family how much fun they are having while ignoring the expressions on their faces which tell a very different story.

Did you grow up with this guy? Are you this guy? Does anyone like this guy? Hell no, nobody likes this guy. People get as far away from him as quickly as possible. He is a drag. There are some very easy ways to make sure that you are never that guy. By the way ladies, you can be that guy, too. 

  • When making plans, leave room for flexibility
  • Understand why you are where you are. For example, if you are somewhere with your kids, their agenda should always come first. This isn’t at the expense of your fun and happiness, this is your fun and happiness
  • Along the lines of planning with flexibility, be willing to adapt to the conditions in which you find yourself. It may rain. The show may get cancelled. The people you are with may decide what you are doing sucks. Adapt and you will maintain peace of mind
  • Finally, and this is extremely important, lose the Grumpy t-shirt. It’s not funny. It’s hackneyed.If you are an asshole you certainly don’t need a t-shirt to prove it.

By dropping or adjusting your agenda you leave room for fun and joy. Hopefully that is why you are planning your activity to begin with. Enjoy the people you are around and be someone others enjoy.