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Your Responsibility in Relationships

Feb 3rd, 2010
by Clint Stonebraker.
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Fear and negativity are fed by false and negative beliefs about the motives of other people. As a result of these limiting and fearful beliefs, many people use flawed definitions of relationships, such as “Relationships are hard work” and “Relationships are 50/50,” to justify isolation and loneliness. If we see other people as enemies who are trying to take advantage of us, then it will be very difficult to feel a true sense of connection and closeness. When we are able to truly take responsibility for our decisions and actions, we can form definitions of relationships that are rooted in love and enhancement.

Relationships can certainly be complicated. When people come together at any level, there are belief systems, preferences, and motives to be acknowledged. However, the process of building and maintaining a relationship  does not have to be painful. Although it can be scary, and sometimes frustrating, building positive healthy relationships is one of the key factors in a joyous life experience. The biggest challenge is deciding whether you have the willingness to take responsibility for your behavior.

  • How you live and perceive life is a choice.
  • A close relationship consists of each individual’s 100%commitment to its success.
  • Flexibility is essential in building strong relationships.

Relax with the awareness that you are seeking ways to improve your ability to live a joyful life. The condition of your relationships will allow happiness to be your focal point. Even when challenges arise you will be supported and loved. As your perspective improves, fear and negativity fall away. The limiting beliefs you have held onto no longer serve the purpose they once did. The responsibility you take for the conditions in your life will free you from the need to obsessive with your fear. As a result, your life will blossom.

Be True to You

Sep 9th, 2009
by Clint Stonebraker.
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True growth can only happen when your roots are strong. It doesn’t matter what you learn or become aware of, if you are not in touch with your essence, the meaning of the new lesson will be lost.

Many people spend years aimlessly drifting, hoping to some day stumble upon the one great truth that will completely transform their life. They feel they have no purpose and find it an impossible task to connect with others. Still others look for the radical change that will set them in the direction of success and happiness and satisfy the urge to remake their existence. Finally, there are those who kneel at the altar of the status quo, condemning anyone who deviates from the norm as being a reckless saboteur. They constantly fight to “get back” to a state of mind which has been idealized and used as the standard of happiness.

These are all extreme examples. Understanding them is important because they illustrate some of what we use as criteria to make connections and form relationships. Growth is fluid and organic. Without movement, life atrophies and dies. At the same time, change for the sake of change simply creates a temporary sense of satisfaction, its long term effects as deceptive as drug-induced euphoria.

Keep things simple.

  • Answer, to yourself, the question of “Who am I?” No one else outside of you can tell you what your essence is. Friends and advisers can point out patterns, traits, and characteristics, but only you can make the final determination of who you are.
  • Take risks! It is dangerous and unhealthy to not seek new awareness and perspectives. This is only a problem when you are attempting to escape a challenge. Again, change for changes sake isn’t taking a risk, it is simply avoidance.
  • Have fun! Life is a joyful experience. The key here is experience. Go, do, and be. Find new adventures and share them with people you love.
  • Seek guidance from those you see growing. Make it a point to find and talk to people who have knowledge on something you wish to learn about. It’s always fun to meet new people and absorb.

The key in all of this is to be true to you. Rarely does someone need a radical makeover. Most often it is a readjustment that will do the trick. Have a strong network of relationships, strong roots, and allow growth to happen. Remain open to new ideas and stay curious. With this as your foundation, you will surely thrive!

You Can Change the World

Aug 18th, 2009
by Clint Stonebraker.
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img_0273Saturday night I had the pleasure of attending a Paul McCartney concert at Piedmont Park in Atlanta, Georgia. It was an amazing experience, one of the more exceptional events I have ever attended. It was the combination of the scence, the number of people, the fact I was there with my family ( our mutual love of  The Beatles was part of what brought my wife and I together), and the music. However, my wife pointed out something of major significance.

Does this man, Paul McCartney, realize what an impact his life has made on the world? Really think about how inter-woven his music, and his life, are with four generations. Coming to a realization such as this puts some things in perspective.

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  • It is possible to create a movement by doing something you love. In fact, the only way to create real change is to inspire through your actions.
  • Those who make a real cultural impact don’t have to tell everyone they have made a cultural impact. With all due respect to the megalomaniacs of the world, those whose deeds reverberate through time are humbled by the experience. I was amazed at the amount of joy Sir Paul experienced by playing his music.
  • If you create, you will stir the dormant spirits of those around you. Like Paul, find your passion and commit to living through it every day. This life is your opportunity to experience joy, happiness, passion, and connection as the person you are. Surround yourself with people who move and support you. Be the galvanizing force that rouses your loved ones.

Relationships are strengthened by enthusiasm and love. Don’t settle for the status quo. Take risks and stay focused on the life you want to live. Find your inner Paul (or whoever inspires you) and act! You too will change the world.