life

Be Honest With Yourself: Your Responses Create Your Reality

Aug 18th, 2010
by Clint Stonebraker.
No comments yet

To begin the process of self-discovery it is vital to recognize the areas of your life that need some direct attention. When you are able to be honest with yourself about what these areas are, you will begin to find the power to initiate change. Positive responses to awareness rely on the willingness to face whatever qualities may be hindering your personal growth and development. A common hurdle is believing other people have caused your life to be less than what you want.

The Danger Of Blaming Others

If you find yourself blaming others for your loneliness or if you are in constant conflict with other people, look closely and see whether you can be honest with yourself. Remember that it is impossible for anyone to control what you say or do. Realize it is only  you creating your problems. Your current situation, good or bad, is a result of a series of decisions you have made and actions you have taken. It is also a result of either negatively reacting or positively responding to your emotions. You are not a puppet on strings or a trained animal. Although past circumstances have a part to play in how you have developed, your reactions create your reality. Ultimately your life is yours to own.

Begin To Take Responsibility

In order to move away from the victim role it is important to pause and take a deeper look at how you may experience conflict in your relationships today. A simple exercise to find clarity may include:

  • Take inventory of those relationships creating conflict in your life.
  • Be honest about your part in this conflict. What can you change in order to feel balanced within these relationships?
  • As you make changes be aware of how much less you are concerned about the behavior of the other person.

It may not always feel like you have a choice as to how you react or respond, but you always do. Be patient with yourself and others. Take the time to think through how to best handle whatever situation you find yourself in. Ultimately you will find more peace and all of your relationships will benefit.

How Successful Relationships Create Life Balance

Aug 11th, 2010
by Clint Stonebraker.
No comments yet

How do you define a successful relationship? What role do you believe your relationships play in your perspective on life? Successful relationships definitely play a major role in achieving healthy life balance. One key is realizing how you view connections with other people.

How Perceptions Are Formed

There are many kinds of relationships we will engage in throughout our lives. There are several factors involved in how we form our perceptions of these relationships. We learned a lot from our families which provided most of us  with a foundation to operate from every day. We learn from our peers. We learn from mentors and others we admire. Most of us hear stories about other people’s lives and find bits and pieces we would like to emulate. Because there are so many influencers in our lives we must pay attention to how we are affected by these sources of input.

There are many facets to anyone’s life and several variables involved in any decisions made. With all of this information the simplest decisions can become convoluted. As a result it is easy to become indecisive and sometimes stuck. Therefore it is crucial to make things as simple as possible in order to gain clarity.

The Role Of Relationships In A Balanced Life

Relationships can be very complicated, and these complications are increased when your life is out of balance. Balance is achieved through being aware of your belief systems and noticing how they affect your physical, emotional and spiritual states. Belief systems include everything from perceptions of spirituality to the value of money. When you have a strong belief about something, you form your opinions, make decisions and form relationships based on these beliefs. As a way to figure out an area of your life which may need attention:

  • On a piece of paper draw three columns, title one physical, the next emotional/mental and the third spiritual.
  • Write down ways you nurture each part of your life.

Following this simple formula will give you an idea of what may be out of balance in your life and which areas need more focus. This will provide you with insight into which relationships in your life need to be nurtured and which may need some clarification of boundaries. We are all affected by people in our lives. By achieving a level of balance we are able to control how deep this influence goes. How do you find balance?

Photo Credit: klimari1 (JUST SHOOT IT! Photography) via Flickr

Are You Having Fun? How To Move From The Got-Tos To The Get-Tos

Aug 4th, 2010
by Clint Stonebraker.
No comments yet

Are you having fun? Is your life filled with activities you look forward to? Most people would probably agree that anything worth doing should involve a degree of fun.  However, most of us create the majority of our lives with  “got-tos.” It’s time to focus on some of the “get-tos.”  For the sake of clarity, I will define a “get-to” as an activity you view with such a degree of excitement and enthusiasm, you can’t wait until you get to start.  Something that gives you butterflies when you think about it.

“It takes courage to play in a world that does not play.”

~Fred Donaldson


Do you find it more and more difficult to find “get-tos?”  Have the circumstances in your life become so stressful or filled with anxiety that you find very little joy throughout the day?  Have you become the dour figure you swore you would never be?  If this describes how you feel (even a little bit) make the decision to change.  Now!

Today, schedule in your next “get-to.”  This may feel ridiculous at first, but this is where your courage steps up.  The world is a balance of work and fun.  Play and toil.  It is up to you to create the balance.

Your current conditions may be difficult.  The challenges in your life may not be a great deal of fun or involve pain.  However, you have control over how you react to your life.  Even in the most difficult of times you can find something in your life to bring you joy.  Don’t let your guilt stop you from laughing.  Don’t let your seriousness stop you from a moment of silliness.  Get into the habit now of experiencing as much fun and laughter as possible.  Be the exciting, fun-machine you were born to be!

Photo Credit: sillygwailo via Flickr

Tools For A Happy Life: Three Simple Steps to Change

Jun 23rd, 2010
by Clint Stonebraker.
No comments yet

I remember one major epiphany that impacted my entire life. It was the realization that I had the power to overcome my obstacles and participate in creating a life I truly desire. All of a sudden, it seemed so simple; I needed to take responsibility for myself, define success clearly for myself and build solid relationships with supportive people. Prior to this realization, I felt like a victim of my circumstances without the power to change it. After a series of self-inflicted misfortunes and countless attempts from others to reach out, I made the decision and created real change.

The three simple steps to start your journey towards change are:

Step 1: Take Responsibility

By taking responsibility for what we can change, we open ourselves up to numerous possibilities. If we focus on having been dealt a bad hand or what others have done to us, we stay grounded in dysfunction. It is impossible to move forward while we are weighed down by misfortune; real or perceived. Taking responsibility for our part in our journey, gives us the power to start the process of real growth.

Step 2: Find a Personal Definition of Success

Many of us get caught in the trap of comparing our definition of success to others. When we clarify success for ourselves, we build a life we will truly appreciate and enjoy. When we trust our personal definition, we no longer are we subject to the judgments and opinions of others. No one is on the exact same path, so be confident in yours.

Step 3: Build Relationships with People on a Similar Path

With this new found sense of responsibility and a sense of what success is, it is vital to find support. Relationships based on shared passions and enthusiasm, help us to grow. It is not healthy to stick around those who want us to stay the same forever. Having relationships with people on a similar path of growth allows us to remain humble and teachable.

These three important steps can be the key ingredients to a solid foundation for living. With the awareness of self-responsibility, our personal definition of success and finding healthy support systems, it is much easier to create and live a life of powerful change.