love

Ready For A Romantic Relationship You Deserve?

Ready for romantic relationship you deserve? It is critical to have open discussions to find a healthy definition of a working relationship.



Romantic relationships can be subjects that are terrifying to talk about. However, it is critical to have open and honest discussions about this subject in order to find a healthy definition of a relationship that works. People often repeat destructive romance patterns due to an unwillingness to examine the limiting beliefs and faulty scripts that dictate romantic attraction and desire.Unfortunately, negative patterns can create a false sense of security. With a strong commitment to improve, it is possible to change these patterns permanently.

Ideally,  partnerships are formed by the combination of physical attraction, emotional compatibility, and spiritual connection.

Romantic relationships involve a tremendous amount of personal responsibility. There is no other type of relationship that requires a higher degree of intimacy. When people enter a romantic relationship without an awareness of the responsibility involved, people get unnecessarily hurt.  If people commit themselves to improving their lives and their relationships, their attitude toward romance will change for the better.

“Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but always perfect for you.”

~ Author Unknown

The key to any healthy romantic relationship is the willingness to take responsibility for all decisions, actions, and responses.

By answering a couple of simple questions, a degree of clarity can be achieved.

1. What qualities would the ideal relationship possess? (This can include physical, emotional and spiritual qualities)

2. How important is it to be a secure individual before entering a romantic relationship?

3. How does a healthy relationship enhance a person’s life?

Although emotions are at the center of a romantic relationship, they can cloud judgment.  It is critical to have a clear perspective on a healthy romance before being intimately involved with anyone. In the spirit of spring cleaning relationships, take inventory of how an intimate relationship is defined.

Once this definition is established one can remove the clutter of limiting beliefs and attract a perefect relationship defined by success and happiness. This is the kind of a romantic relationship everyone deserves.

Photo Credit:fujisan3 (Mr.mt) via Flickr

Intimacy and Connection

“My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.”
~ Gary Shandling

When most people hear the word intimacy they conjure up images of adults in “adult situations.” Because of the sexual connotation of the word intimacy, it can be difficult to engage someone in a conversation on this topic without becoming at least mildly uncomfortable. So let’s start by clarifying what I’m talking about when I refer to intimacy. I like to define intimacy as:

closeness and familiarity; closeness that comes as a result of having the courage to be completely engaged and connected

But how do we become completely engaged and connected in a relationship? It starts with a better understanding of ourselves.
Many people today have grown up in families with varying degrees of dysfunction. Whether due to alcoholism, drug addiction, neglect, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, or sheer coldness, many of us have been exposed to factors that have left us in a state of self-protection. In spite of these factors, many people are able to let go of their pasts and move forward in their lives by building close and intimate relationships firmly rooted in trust and love.
They are able to do this by realizing that they are not slaves to their family’s behavioral patterns or genetic pre-dispositions. Although these patterns and predispositions clearly have an effect on an individual’s behavior, they are not the only determining factors. They get to a point of finding their own definitions of success and happiness and begin surrounding themselves with people who support them in their decisions. Once you let go of your past, you too, will be able to identify the differences between what is a negative pattern or predisposition and what you want in the here and now.

Here are some simple things you can do to improve the level of intimacy in all your relationships:

  • Clarify your definition of happiness. Don’t borrow someone else’s, find your own
  • Write down the significant relationships in your life and determine whether they support this definition of happiness
  • If you decide a relationship doesn’t support you, deduce what changes you can make to alter the nature of the relationship

Remember that the level of intimacy in your life is predicated on your willingness to be open. A fear of intimacy is often created by circumstances out of your control, but you can seek help to resolve these issues whenever you choose. Intimacy and connection go hand in hand. As you become more open, the joy and happiness you experience will increase exponentially.

Emotional Yoga

“The boldness of asking deep questions may require unforeseen flexibility if we are to accept the answers.” ~ Brian Greene

One of the primary purposes of yoga is to create flexibility and strength in the body. The same exercise is needed for our emotional well-being. Our emotional well-being is the primary key in building strong, healthy relationships. When we live in any degree of fear, we become defensive and rigid. We hold on to antiquated belief systems because they are familiar and safe. We follow our scripting because the direction is obvious and seems to be a low risk proposition.

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We always have the option to change our perspective. We also always have the option to broaden our horizons and expand our exposure to different ideas. When we are able to do this, we break the cycle of rigidity. By breaking this cycle we exercise our emotional muscles. The stronger and more flexible our emotional muscles become, the more we expand our ability to be open to intimacy. We no longer have to remain stuck in our patterns and we can allow our capacity of love to grow without any self-imposed limitations. I know that my ability to welcome new relationships is contingent upon my ability to be flexible. I also know that if I don’t want my current relationships to stagnate, I must continue to be willing to grow and change.

•    The two greatest motivators are love and fear
•    The willingness to risk a relationship due to different opinions is rooted in irrational fear
•    Love creates more love
•    If life seems difficult, it is due to your resistance to change

Be willing to stretch. This discomfort will lead to unexpected opportunities for unimaginable growth. The connections you will make as a result of your pliancy will be a reminder of the value of unity.

It Begins With You

“Love life and life will love you back. Love people and they will love you back.” ~Arthur Rubinstein


Are you in a lot of conflict right now? Does it seem like you’re swimming against the current?Do you feel resistance to your dreams and desires?

There are times when we all feel this way. To me these feelings are indicators of a lack of compassion and connection. When you are compassionate, there is a flow to life. Even if things aren’t going exactly the way you believe it should, you are able to find acceptance. We spend so much time focused on the performance and behavior of others that we forget a better world starts with me.

A sense of connection is vital to success. In order to connect with people we must find common ground on which to relate. When the common ground is discovered as a result of compassion the relationship has a much better chance to flourish. Some simple ways to remain aware of your level of compassion are:

  • Do you look for similarities or differences between you and others?
  • Are you able to find opportunities to allow your experiences to benefit people with whom you come in contact?
  • How often do you follow inspirations to perform acts of service?

There is no better time to love than right now. Circumstances and people respond to the energy generated by you. Pay attention, be present, and take advantage of the opportunities to make your world a better place.

Leadership Always Counts

3165948442_2a563eb1eaAlas, the Arizona Cardinals lost the Super Bowl. After watching the Big Red for years it seemed Destiny would finally smile upon this dismal franchise through its powerful medium, Kurt Warner. Although in the end it wasn’t meant to be, they put up a valiant fight and certainly taught us a few things.3090618841_143e1ed1ff

 

  1. Leadership is a quality too often overlooked. In any system involving multiple people, someone must be willing to step to the front and lead.
  2. Passion drives us to be better performers and better people.
  3. Love unifies people and establishes the strongest of bonds. Whether it is love for what you do, for who you are around, or for who you get to share your life with, love provides the power.
  4. Gratitude allows anyone to maintain the humility needed to create and build upon excellence. Anyone who believes they have it all figured out is wrong. 

We are all stronger as human beings when we have strong and loving relationships. When we live in the qualities mentioned above, we will attract people into our lives with whom we would want to build these relationships. Never be afraid to lead because there is someone who needs to follow you. Do what you do with passion because others will be attracted to it. Live a life you love because it is the one you have. Finally, remember to maintain gratitude because there has always been, and always will be, someone to help.

Photo Credit: Alfred Benway

In the End, Relationships Count

The world can be very confusing. With the constant change, ideological differences, economic downturns,and rioting teenagers it can seem like there is nothing on which to hang hope. We can easily forget that the world has always experienced turmoil and upheaval in its continued growth and evolution. 

As segments of society struggle with their sometimes fractious need for superiority, there are some things on which we can rely. When we feel alone or misguided we can become grounded. 

Find friends with whom you

can laugh. Go to beautiful places that bring you joy. Finally, surround yourself with a loving family with whom you can share your life.

Count on the love in your relationships. At the very least they will carry you to something better.