Secret keeping always breeds sickness. No matter what lengths a person may go to in order to protect himself or someone else, if he is keeping secrets, he will create harm. Often people make the decision to keep secrets because of a fear of embarrassment. No one wants his own reputation, or his family’s reputation, to be tarnished.
This fear is understandable, because embarrassment can be painful. However, when we allow ourselves to operate from a foundation that encourages pathological dishonesty, we shouldn’t be surprised when someone spends his or her life lying or cheating. I’m not saying it is always a parent’s fault when a child grows up and becomes a dishonest person, but when someone grows up in an environment that allows dishonesty to flourish, he may have a difficult time breaking that pattern.
Family relationships are the most critical aspect of anyone’s early psychological and emotional development. Patterns of behavior are established at a very early age. These patterns are rooted in the perceptions formed from our relationships with our families of origin. If we are unwilling to investigate these parts of our lives, we will severely limit our ability to break the patterns of dysfunction with which we have become accustomed. This can have a life-long effect on our ability to form healthy relationships.
Everyone doesn’t come from a dysfunctional family. In fact, there are many people who choose to abuse the term in order to justify negative or antisocial behavior. For those of you who do come from dysfunctional family backgrounds, it is imperative you realize your own power to break the cycle of dysfunction and let it go forever. It all begins with a willingness to change.
· A dysfunctional family is one in which abuse, neglect, closed- mindedness, and absence of affection are characteristics which create the atmosphere at home.
· Relationships built on a foundation of honesty, understanding, and love will flourish.
· The cycle of dysfunction is broken when an individual recognizes he possesses the power to let go of his negative patterns.
Do you continue to excuse negative behavior today because of family situations from the past? Do you want to let go of the pattern of victimization? Start by making the decision to change now.