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January 12th, 2009:

Realizing What’s Important

An Old CoupleI love anything that changes my perspective. Sometimes that change comes from reading a great story or article. A perspective change can come from a great movie. We can be moved by a conversation with someone whom we respect. Most often this change comes as a result of a strong connection with a person we love.

We often spend so much time making plans that we forget to experience what is happening right now. Our life. No matter what goals we set, regrets we hold on to, or resentments we allow to fester the fact is that the moment in which we truly exist is now. Am I going to use this moment to be afraid of who or what may be coming? Or will I use it to remember what really matters to me? Here are some simple perspective changers:

You Will Die: No matter how much denial we attempt to build, this is inevitable. Once this fact is accepted I am left with a simple choice. Will I fearfully wait for this moment to arrive or will I use this awareness to experience as much of life as possible.

They Don’t Care: Those who you spend your time resenting and trying to hurt forgot about you a long long time ago. I have learned this lesson over and over again. I somehow convince myself that I am that important and that whatever it was that hurt me had an equal impact on the life of whoever caused my pain. The bottom line is that if I hurt, it is because I choose to hold on. I always have the option to let go and move on with my life.

Your Kids Don’t Care How Hard Your Day Was: Nor should they. They love you. They want and deserve your undivided attention. When you leave the office, call, or appointment leave it behind you.

Your Spouse Doesn’t Know How You Feel Unless You Say It: Say I love you because uttering the three most powerful words in our language makes you feel good. Don’t take for granted that your partner just “knows” how you feel. They don’t. Show them and tell them.

Perspective is a choice. Although difficult and painful experiences provide perspective change there are other ways. We all have our idea of what a loving and caring person would look like. The most effective way to change one’s perspective is to be that person.